Today, online dating has become a common phenomenon. Many people find their soulmate on social media or dating apps. However, the main problem with online dating is that communication can sometimes drag on for months without leading to a real-life meeting. How can you avoid the trap of endless online chatting, and when is the right moment to transition from online to offline? Let’s figure it out together.
Why is messaging necessary before a face-to-face meeting?
It is not advisable to forgo messaging completely. After all, your safety is the top priority. By communicating with someone online, you can form a first impression of them, assess their demeanour, and ensure that meeting them poses no threat.
This is not the only advantage of messaging before a meeting. In addition, online communication helps to:
- Learn basic information about the person: Through messaging, you can discover what interests your partner, their values, and life plans. Based on this, you can decide how compatible and whether it’s worth your time to meet in person.
- Assess how comfortable you feel communicating: By observing the topics the person brings up, how they construct their sentences, and how they respond to your messages, you can learn a lot about their intelligence and character. If you feel discomfort while chatting online, it’s unlikely that the situation will change during an in-person meeting.
- Establish an emotional connection: The first date is easier and relaxing when you are somewhat familiar with each other. Messaging allows you to learn about other people’s preferences and interests; this will enable you to discuss and share topics during the meeting avoiding awkward silences.
Additionally, through messaging, you can ensure that you have similar expectations for the relationship. After all, if you’re looking for a serious relationship, it is unlikely you want to waste your time on someone only interested in a one-time date.
When is the right time to transition from messaging to real-life communication?
There is no universal “recipe” that would work for all couples. Some people only need a few days of messaging to feel ready to meet in person, while others may prefer to chat online for a week or two. It all depends on the individual characteristics of each person, as well as their experiences in previous relationships. Some people easily welcome new individuals into their lives, while others take their time because they are hesitant to trust. If one of you is ready to meet after at any time (probably from day 1) and the other person needs more time, it’s important to reach a compromise.
A lot depends on the intensity of the communication. If you are messaging every day for several hours, you will gather more information about the person in a week than you would in a month of sporadic messages every few days.
However, you shouldn’t delay a real meeting if you’ve been actively communicating every day for more than two weeks. During this time, you usually manage to discuss the main topics, understand how interesting the person is, and whether you want to meet them. If virtual communication lasts too long, there is a risk of creating an illusory image of the person. When we communicate online for an extended period, we inadvertently attribute qualities to our chat partner that we would like to see in them. During an in-person meeting, if the person does not match the ideal image you have imagined, disappointment is inevitable.
The dangers of prolonged online communication
However, the mismatch between expectations and reality is far from the only problem with prolonged messaging. The second issue is the risk of being deceived. If a person constantly finds reasons to postpone a meeting, it may indicate that they are hiding something. This behaviour is typical of individuals who live a double life. Some people might be using someone else’s photos or embellishing certain facts about themselves. Additionally, if a person consistently refuses to meet for an extended period, there may be a scammer on the other side of the screen. Another red flag is if the person frequently evades direct questions or avoids discussing important topics. It is best to end such communication as soon as possible.
Another danger of prolonged online communication is the loss of interest. Even the most engaging conversation can become routine over time. When the same topics are discussed day after day and the communication remains limited to messaging, people start to respond less frequently, and their messages become shorter. If the relationship isn’t taken to the next level, there’s a good chance that interest will fade, and it may end before it even truly begins. So, what can be done to avoid this?
An excellent alternative to messaging for dating is video chats. This format of communication is as close to real-life interaction as possible. You can see the person, their facial expressions and reactions, hear their voice and read their emotions and mood by chatting in an online video chat. This allows you to form a complete picture of them and understand if there is chemistry between you.
We recommend trying the CooMeet platform. This is a 1-on-1 video chat designed specifically to find a partner and talk to random girls. The system connects users only with the opposite gender. When chatting on CooMeet, you can always be sure that there is a real person on the other side of the screen, as every user must verify their identity.
No amount of messaging or video calls can replace the energy of in-person communication. Virtual interactions can be rich, warm, and engaging, but you are still separated by the screen of a smartphone or monitor. Therefore, it is important to recognise when virtual communication has run its course and to suggest a face-to-face meeting. Trust your intuition; if you feel ready to meet in person, don’t hesitate to take that step. However, don’t forget to exercise reasonable caution. Prolonged online communication can be unproductive while a very short interaction can be risky. You need to find a balance: avoid dragging out the messaging, but don’t dive in headfirst without consideration.
